I love to read a good book. However, there are some pieces of trash that I will never pick up, even if everyone around me poops their pants over this author. Guess what Michael Connolly? I know absolutely nothing about your books, but when I see:

“Michael Connolly is one of those masters…who can keep driving the story forward in runaway locomotive style.”

“Connolly puts his foot on the gas and doesn’t let up.”

“High-voltage adventure…”

That means that automatically, your works are scratched off my possibility list. Did you notice something about all those descriptions? I don’t want him to get me to work on time in rush-hour traffic, I want a good book. How about actually telling me something about the style of writing that will lead to some kind of useful idea about what I’m about to read?
Critics of this sort are useless.
I swear that they recycle the same damn cliches over and over again. Hell, I sincerely doubt that they even read the book before writing those blurbs. They might as well not, as they are indistinguishable between Mystery/Thriller books. Take a look at the “rave” reviews given to a second Connolly author, Jonathan:

“In the crowded killing fields of crime fiction, John Connolly is a unique voice.”

Thanks asshole, I now know nothing about this book. What is unique supposed to mean? Does he use sentences in a way never seen before? Doubt it. Does he provide radically new storylines that have never been explored before? Impossible. Why, then, should I look at such a short description and actually think that I know something about what I’m about to plunk 10 dollars of my own money on?

So, here is a list of words/phrases that set off my shit-book alarm:

*Gas
*High-Voltage
*Doesn’t let go
*Lightning
*Unique
*Connolly
*”Murder never felt so good”
*New levels of excitement

This list is sure to grow daily, but those are a few I can pull off the top of my head.

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